To the Bad Memories.

Broke:

To those bad memories...

A year has past since my time spent with you. Just as I always knew, things were never the same. I have never been the same. I've grown different, you've grown away. I tried to remain a friend to you, but time seems to pull us further apart than the actual distance that already lies between us. I've been finding it more and more difficult to move on and find something new, something better. You've scarred me beyond repair and now it seems I am just full of insecurities and "issues." You told me that I'd eventually get over it and move on. I've gotten over it, and I am moving on, but why do you still haunt me? Why am I still reminded of you? I just want to forget you. Two years of my life gone down the drain, and now I am left here with the feeling of loneliness, abandonment, and my never ending issue of trusting someone new. I am broken into a million little pieces, beyond repair.

The memory of the time we last saw each other, randomly comes to mind throughout the day. I can literally see my heart falling to the ground after I tried to hand it over to you one last time. It shattered. I knew damn well you were going to reject it, but I had hope. Hope that you'd change your mind if you saw just how fragile and innocent it really was. I could've stopped it from shattering, but instead I chose to watch it fall like a thin glass plate hitting the concrete. Completely broken. I just watched it, asking myself, "How am I ever going to fix it?" A year later, and I sit here now asking myself, "How am I ever going to fix it?" I need a new heart, God. I need a new heart. I've tried tape, I've tried glue, and somehow the moment I remember you, I am broken all over again.

God, I need a sign.